Clay Time

My table is up (THANKS TO WANDA) . What project do I do first. A vase, a bead, a tile, what oh what can I do!!!

The other day I was visiting Gera Scott Chandler (http://www.gerascottchandler.com/), and every time I walk threw her studio I feel so inspired, she is such an amazing artist. I have her work all over the house. Her Blog is filled with inspiration.
Another artist is Wanda who also inspires me. I love her new teapot (http://www.wandadesigns.blogspot.com/).
So much talent between these two women... getting excited now, need to get the rest of my stuff of the garage so I can work....

Finding acceptance

Moving on in my life it seems hard to believe that in 6 months everything that I believed in has changed. I am on medication now, and it's started to keep me grounded and focused on my task at hand which is to get better to be able to take care of my daughter.
I have been forced into a situation that was so unexpected, but now I am learning to grieve and deal with it head on. I did not want to believe that this was really happening to me. But I am taking control of my life again, learning all over to who I am, and that it's ok to be scared and happy. I can do this, I have to keep telling myself. It's time I do things for myself. I have to heal my open wounds before I can be the best mom possible for Adele. She deserves the best. So I am taking the steps needed. I have created a circle of support. With friends, family, doctors, public health nurse, groups, and GOOD meds. I can get threw this. I will prevail. I will win this battle.

Clean bill of health

Today was Addy's 4 month check-up, and she passed with flying colors. She is now 14 lb 08 ounces and is 63 cm long. First of all SHE'S 4 MONTHS OLD, wow where did the time go. She is growing so fast, it's so unbelievable. We have learned that this little one has a TEMPER. WOW.

She is a great little baby, couldn't have asked for a better littler girl. She loves her bath every night, she smiles all the time, and she has the cutest laugh! I know I am biased. But she really does. And one more thing, can this girl FILL a diaper!

Post Pardum Depression

It's once again been awhile since I have visited this place. Many things keep happening.
It's a new year, and for once I do not know where my life is going to lead.
I'm in a dark place. I have been diagnosed with post pardum depression. With everything that has been happening over the past few months, it has finally taken it's toll on me, and I can no longer keep my happy mask on.
I am getting the help I need, but it's not a quick fix. Nothing in my life right now is a quick fix.
It's hard to wake up in the morning, it's hard to eat, hard to sleep, and it's hard to even enjoy the laughter of my daughter.
Depression is such a horrible place to be. I just want to cover myself up in a hole and not come out. Your insides are screaming and raging in you, and all I can do is try and keep myself together, and not fall. But how I would like to fall, and just stop all this pain, to not feel everything that I am going threw!

Bathtime

So Addy is getting bigger and so are her splashes! Bath-time is getting to be a lot of fun with her now.
Splish splash, and nothing can harm her as long as she has her trust facecloth to suck on!

Really would you trust this face with nitro glycerene ;-)

She is becoming more and more a little person. She will be 3 months tomorrow. WOW where is the time going! Already I see so much change and at time it makes me teary, knowing that I will never get that time back with her. As I craddle her in my arms as she sleeps, I think tomorrow she will a little different, and I try to burn the image of her sleeping in my head, so I don't forget in years to come. She is sooo precious, a sponge eager to see the world and I am eager to show it to her!

christmas time

Well it is that time of year, and this being Addy's first Christmas.. I thought this picture was perfect for today. She has no clue what is going on, just that mommy keeps putting this hat on her! Can you believe that she will be 3 months old next week. How time has flown. She is growing so much, and is changing almost everyday. There are mornings I will look at her and see a change. It's really unbelievable.

I have also discovered that to go out shopping anywhere, and to do anything, I need to tack on an extra hour. Why you may ask? Its from all the people stopping me to look at her! I think it's her eyes, she looks at you with her eyes and it's like she is looking into your soul, and then right on cue she smiles at you and she turns a man that looks like he hasn't smiled in years into a this mushy man, eager to see one more smile to make his day. What is it about Addy?

Back from winter wonderland

Well this is a short post, and will fill in more details, but after three weeks of being away, I have returned.
All I can say is -31 is freaken cold. I am just in the process of downloading my photos and will be adding them very soon.
These past few weeks have been an adventure for me, alot of learning and self healing.

It's good to be back in Victoria, but I have learnedd something more valuable, that there is no place like home and right now I miss home!