Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Myths about Midwife

Well yesterday was my last midwife appointment, and it was sad to say goodbye. Aisia Salo was fantastic, and couldn't have asked for a better person to bring our daughter into this world.
Myths about midwives
1. Place of birth - my daughter was not born in a hippie van or in a barn. She was born in the hospital ( but one can choose to have a home birth)
2. Midwives are women from the outback - Midwives are highly educated people that require them to go threw and intense 4 year program.
3. Midwives aren't doctors - no they aren't but they have knowlege that are strictly for birth and taking care of baby. If they see a problem, they will send you to a doctor. They ARE your primary care giver, and take CARE of YOU and baby. Doctors have way to many things on their plate.
4.The best part of a midwife is that it was covered by the health care system.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

to sleep or not to sleep, that is the question

The sleep issue is I think the one thing parents struggle with... oh and the crying.
These past few days Adele has tested and broke mommy. Yesterday was baaaddddddddd. To the point that I called Dustin in tears to come home. Lack of sleep and her crying all day, just broke me.
We have been trying to get her to sleep in her bassenette and the night before she cried and cried and cried and OH cried some more. SO NO SLEEP... and she fought sleep yesterday.. she refused to close her eyes, hence mommy crying in the end.

So last night she sleep between us, and that worked. She slept threw most of the night and woke up around 4:30am for a feeding.

So mommy and daddy got somewhat of a sleep.. so I feel normal... but what really is NORMAL now.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

When time is getting close to saying good-bye


As I write this post I do not know what state my father is in. We recieved the call that he was back in the hospital, no biggy I thought he has been in and out, because of chemo anything like a cold can be deadly. But this call was different. My father suffered sever pain all over his body, that according to my mom looked at her in the eyes and begged her to stop it. I can not imagine what that was like for my mom, but I know it had to be devasting. Listening to Dustin talk to her on the phone, tears rolled down my face.

After getting him to the hosptial and after 2 hours of intense pain there, they finally gave him enough drugs to put him to sleep and take away the pain. My mom explain that the drugs they were using were so strong that he could stop breathing so she laid beside him and held place her head on his back and wrap her arms around and held his hands, and when she thought he was pain free and alseep she would try to pull away,but he would hang on to her. Tears pour down my face as my mom is telling me this story. Finally he was in a deep sleep and she was able to leave and go home.

As I look at my daughter and her big eyes, I know that I have to get her home to be with him. It is one of the last things on his wish list. The cancer as I have learned has pretty much spread threw his body. He is going for chemo on tuesday and perhaps radiation.

My father is a good man, who has a kind and wonderful heart. Who has always treated people with respect, no matter who they are. I hope that as my daughter grows older that I teach her the values that my father has taught me. I see my dad in her.

I am not looking forward to the day that I must say good-bye... I am not looking forward to opening Skype or MSN messanger and knowing that he will never sign onto his computer again, to never see his name pop up and have the words written out "Good morning from the great north".

from arms to bassenette




My little one is nearly 6 weeks old already. I still can't believe how time has been flying now. Well last night the husband decided that we should try and get her to sleep in her bassenette. For those of you who didn't know, she has been sleep in my arms either on the couch or in bed, and last night was the first night I was not there to comfort her. Before becoming a mom I would have thought "well it's about time" or " must have been nice to not have her with you", but to be honest I missed her. It was so hard on me. Did I have a good night sleep.. well actually I did and didn't. I found myself awake listening to her breath, and every sound she made I was up listening. When it was time to get up and feed her I did so, then placed her back in her bed, as much as I wanted to bring her to bed with me, I had to be consistant. KILLED ME. My husband doesn't completely understand, and that's ok.

As I write this, I am on my own. Husband took Adele so I can have some time to myself. Yet I miss her. Again pre-mommyhood "great time to yourself". I find I feel like I am running around with my head cut off. What do I do??? There are so many things that I can get done, but right now all I want is to sit and watch a movie, and cuddle my little one.

Wow how becoming a mom can really change you. I never thought I would see myself as a mom. Or be able to love somethign SO much, that you heart just feels empty when they are gone.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Just keep Swiming

The past couple of days I have been taking little one out for a walk, and this particular road has a hill to climb. I never realised how much strenght was taken from me. For those of you who hasn't seen me yet, I have lost alot of wait... WHAT you may ask, you just had a baby... I KNOW.. but I weight less then what I did when I got pregnant, and you can't even tell that I had a baby!

Anyways, my legs are really weak, and pushing a stroller up the hill was tough, really tough. Then I had to go down. never realised how much strenght one needed. My legs were shaking. But if I want to do a half marathon next year I will have to do this hill everyday, and get my strenght back.

So as Dorie from "Finding Nemo" says : Just keep swimming!!! Just keep swimming!!! What do we do is SWIM.
Words to live by!

Baby talk and SUD

Yesterday was my first Baby Talk. It's where a group of mothers and babies get together and chat about what is happening and how each of us is dealing with being a new mom, or get knowledge from more seasoned moms. I enjoyed myself and was nice to see that "your not alone". Adele was great, she slept threw the whole thing, well until the end. I weighted her and she is now 8 lb 7 ounces. I am hoping to gain some friendships with this group. Oddly enough I met a mother sitting beside me, and it's a smallllll world but she was from my home area. WHAT are the odds!

S.U.D. - oh man what a wonderful invention!! What is it you may ask.. well Dustin came up with it :
"Shut Up Device" aka a soother! For those of you who get my humour, I was laughing so hard when he said this.
So whenever you hear me talk about SUD you will understand. One lady in the group didn't get the humour in it, and thought I was a horrible mother for even calling something like that.

Monday, October 22, 2007

What I have learned!

When you become a mom, everyone tells you "sleep when you can". Easier said then done. But here are a few things I have learned in the past month.

1. Going for a car ride at 1am down to the ferries - there is NO traffic
2. Loud noises coming from your child's bottom - one hell of a full diaper
3. Use pink blankets when taking her out in public - any other color and people think she's a boy
4. Breastfeeding is good for the baby - yes best decision I made, but in the beginning you need and engineering degree to get them to latch on!!!
5. If breastfeeding get a breast pump - DON'T cheap out and get a cheap one, spend the money and get a GOOD ONE.
6. Diapers - thank god for the almighty disposable diapers and the diaper Genie!
7. Kids grow - They aren't kidding when they say they grow fast.
8. Sleeping arragments - how I miss my bed, but have gotten to know the couch oh so well!
9. breakfast, lunch and supper - two words "Lean Cuisine"
10. Shopping spree - GOING TO OLD NAVY FOR A NEW PAIR OF PANTS!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Best baby gift

It's been a few days since I last wrote here. I had company yesterday my dear friend Vanessa! Vanessa and I met threw my polymer clay guild. She is a kind and wonderful soul and yesterday she gave me the best baby gift a girl could ever ask for, she gave me "help". For the first time of becoming a mom, I was able to accomplish so much! Just having that extra pair of hands gave me the opportunity to relax more, and enjoy the day and actually accomplish more then one thing on my to do list.

So three cheers to Vanessa for just being!

Oh and also she discovered the wonders of a good stroller!!!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

One month today

WOW, I just can't believe it, my little girl is one month old. Where did the time go?
Tomorrow we visit the midwife and see where she is at on weight and her development.
Some of her little outfits already don't fit anymore, and we had to change her diapers to a bigger size.

I know I am biased but boy is she adorable. Yes even when she is crying, she is my little ray of sunshine!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Instructions not included!




I think this picture says it all!!!!!

Friday, October 12, 2007

Breastfeeding

NOT easy thing to do. I all I want to say is MOOOOOO
I know I am doing the right thing for my daughter, so why do people make such a big deal about it in public.
I find myself not wanting to leave the house because I am afraid of feeding my daughter in public, but I know I have to 'get over it' and just flash my breast to the whole world.

Has north america sexualised the breast so much that a mother can not feed her child in public without being given dirty looks.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Keeping up with Star Trek

Well since my little one has been born, I never truely realised what a Star Trek fan I really am. During the whole day, on any given channel there are episodes of all the Star Trek shows.. Next Generation would probably be my favorite, with Voyager a close second... Deep Space Nine ... is not my favorite.

It's kinda like having a little one.. it's to boldly go where no new mom has ever gone before!!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Lack of sleep

As the title indicates... lack of sleep.
It does something to you... My little one has been on a four day no sleep mode. She fights it all the way. It takes hours to get her to sleep again. Evenings are the toughest. I am told that this will pass.. and in the grand scheme of things, this is just a blip, but such a long blip!!!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

First Blog - Arrival of Adele Niko Jenkins



Well I thought I would get on the band wagon and start a blog. With my daughter being 3 weeks old today. I found that she inspires me. She is a clean slate. There is no hate, no judgement, no opinions on other people, all she knows and understands is love, and warmth and she knows where the FOOD is, aka MOM.

I never saw myself as a mother, I have been a career oriented person. I had NO intentions of ever becoming a mom. I love my job, and worked very hard to get to where I am today. And then when I discovered I was pregnant, it scared me.

As the months passed by, and I grew bigger and bigger. Movement started to happen, and how instinctively I would rub my belly, I saw myself wonder, what have I been missing out. As I reached the end of the pregnancy, difficult times arouse, and I sometimes feel like I was robbed from what should have been a beautiful period in my pregnancy was taken away. I found myself sad, lost, and shattered. I forgot what it was like to smile, to feel happiness. To many negative events have occured.

As I finally went on maternity leave, I found myself longing to hold my daughter, that I was done being pregnant (it's not a myth), I just wanted to know what it felt like to be happy again. There was so many people also waiting for her to arrive. So much sadness in a couple of months that she was the ray of sunshine that many of us needed. She was and is a new beginning for many of us. So much riding on such little shoulders.

Just before she was born, I went in to false labour, and was excited and scared. What was going to happen. When I was told it wasn't going to happen, and that she wasn't ready to come out, I was disappointed and I began to cry. I just wanted to hold her, and be with her. I wanted to smile again.

I finally went into early labour on Sept 17th, I was feeling different, and had to go to the hospital for a stress test. I remember feeling really uncomfortable. After she passed the test (again) with flying colors I had to see the Dr. as I waited, I had 3 contractions (didin't know it at the time) then the Dr. came in and I had to ask him to hold on a second. He asked how many of these "feelings" I had since he walked in, I said about 4, and he informed me that I was in labour, and that she will most likely be born today or tomorrow.

So home I went thinking NAH this is false labour again. Told my midwife the news, and went on with my day. By the evening nothing had really changed, and I told Dustin to go to his class. He called around 8:45 pm and I said no worries nothing new. THEN at 9:00pm an intense pain and I was like "HOLY F***" then another one, bu this time Dustin was still not home yet, and I was ready to climb the walls. He came home and called the midwife. She arrived and off to the hospital!!!

After 3 hours of active labour, and me ready to rip the sink out of the wall. Midwife suggested breaking my water, and get things going a little faster.. WELL as soon as she did that, I remembering feeling like I have to push and PUSH NOW... in a matter of seconds I went from 7cm to 10cm, and ready to go. Once I started to push I thougth NO problem, she be out soon.. How wrong was I. 2 hours I pushed, she got stuck, and I remember asking, what's going on. Everytime the midwife suggested call the Dr. I found a burst of energy and pushed harder!! In the end she was not coming out, but so close, and I remember hearing the midwife says we have to call him. I felt a sudden surge of anger, and told myself NO she's coming out NOW, I hunkered done, and yell "GET OUT" and sudden she moved, and at 1:51am on Sept 18, my little angel was born.

What makes the Sept 18th so special, is that Adele was born, on my mom's birthday, my grandmother's and my great grandmother's birthday. What are the odds!!!!!

And this is why I have started this blog. She has inspired me again. She has brought back some happiness into my life, that I have a purpose. I dedicate this blog and all my creations of polymer clay to her.
There was an error in this gadget