Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Post Pardum Depression

It's once again been awhile since I have visited this place. Many things keep happening.
It's a new year, and for once I do not know where my life is going to lead.
I'm in a dark place. I have been diagnosed with post pardum depression. With everything that has been happening over the past few months, it has finally taken it's toll on me, and I can no longer keep my happy mask on.
I am getting the help I need, but it's not a quick fix. Nothing in my life right now is a quick fix.
It's hard to wake up in the morning, it's hard to eat, hard to sleep, and it's hard to even enjoy the laughter of my daughter.
Depression is such a horrible place to be. I just want to cover myself up in a hole and not come out. Your insides are screaming and raging in you, and all I can do is try and keep myself together, and not fall. But how I would like to fall, and just stop all this pain, to not feel everything that I am going threw!